Out of Diapers

It could happen. Here’s the bright side.

I’m not out of diapers. Yet. I have a whole box that I haven’t even opened. But how long will I be able to hoard diapers before my baby’s bum is naked to the world from 6 feet away? Will the rate of diaper use in our household outlast the corona virus bell curve? Why did I not hoard diapers like everyone else did with toilet paper before we stopped going out to the stores? (I did not jump on the toilet paper hoarding wagon with the rest of the world either. I’ve resorted to hoarding tissues, a sad, square second place runner-up when compared to that beautiful, cylindrical, white rolling cloud. Sigh. I remember how it fit so well on the little metal holder and tucked so comfortably into the wall.)

I’ve realized that there is a bright side to running out of diapers. It just means that it is TIME. It is the moment that parents put off but know we just need to embrace. Potty training. Pandemic-enforced potty training. It is so hard to pull the trigger on deciding to potty train your kiddo. Potty training inevitably means staying at home, not going out, and cleaning up messes all over your home. Perfect! We can all make the most of our social isolation by potty training our kids now. We will not miss any important social engagements, and we are supposed to be cleaning our homes all the time anyway.

I personally am going to wait until I run out of diapers, because I enjoy the dramatic suspense.

In case you don’t want to potty train and you run out of diapers, here is a list of alternatives that I’ve been told people are using instead of toilet paper that I feel could also be fashioned into a diaper:

• Tissues
• Printer paper
• Wet wipes
• Toilet paper rolls
• Old t-shirts
• Kale
• Low hanging fruit (like the peel of a banana?)

However you decide to take care of your child’s toileting needs and no matter how disgusting and dirty things get, don’t forget that there is always a bright side. You just might have to find it after you go and wash your hands. Again.